A LETTER TO MY YOUNGER SELF

July 19, 2017

Dear Cari,

 

Today is an exceptionally boring day.  You’ll do laundry, be annoyed at your brother—although what else is new—and you’ll be sad that you couldn’t get to the Pacific to see it once more before you make the biggest move you’ll ever make so far.  This move will separate you from all the family and friends you grew up with, yet there’s so much more out there for you!  Life is moving fast, and there are things you need to remember:

 

∆∆ Your hair will always be a pain—manageable, but a pain.  Learn to love it no matter what, even when it may feel like it’s going in a thousand different directions and you can’t figure out what makes it work.

 

∆∆ No matter who your friends are—even the false ones—you will grow and make decisions that you will regret.  These will truly help you to grow and become a strong, loving, caring woman whose mistakes will help you with others.

 

∆∆ Your good friends in high school will always be your friends, but in a different way once you become an adult.  It’s going to be hard saying goodbye to the type of friendship you’ve had, but life will bring you closer to some, and those friends are the ones you will be able to call up and spend two hours on the phone with.  It won’t matter if you’ve physically seen them in two years, you will always be able to continue where you left off.  You'll also make some amazing friends at college that will be with you through amazing and terrible times.

 

 

 

∆∆ Even though you’ve never really like using your full name, Carissima becomes wayyy cooler to use when you get older.  You’ll still stick with Cari for some things, but you’ll realize that, like your personality and style, it’s unique and very, very beautiful.

 

∆∆ You'll always feel fat, ugly, and unintelligent.  There's going to be a to of things you will have to get through, but listen to me: you will get though things and because you get through them, you start to realize that you're NOT ugly, fat, or unintelligent.

 

∆∆ When it comes to romantic relationships, be at peace.  It’s not easy to find someone who fits what you might be looking for, but be patient, because eventually God will send you that person.  Seriously, I’m an almost 28-year-old and still never been in a dating relationship.  Good things come with time, even when you feel down because all of your friends are finding their matches in life.  It’s going to be okay, and you are actually a stronger woman because you’re single. 

 

 

 

∆∆ Oh yeah, you’re going to become Catholic.  It’s going to be a quick, crazy journey, but once you get to the church and become part of the Church, your life will be forever changed.  You’re going to be able to discover who you are as a person, as a Catholic, as someone who gets to learn how to make your own self fly to places you could never dream of!

 

∆∆ Procrastination is going to always be a problem.  Try to work on it, especially with projects.  If not, your projects will eat up all space you have left in your room, in your apartment, in your parent’s storage.

 

∆∆ No matter what the trends may be, or wishing you could look different, remember that you are you—which totally sounds cliché—and that you are original and the only you there is.  You’ll always have a love for fashion, but remember that fashion is just a trend, but style is forever.  You’ll also continue to love European style; this will help shape your closet and personal style into something fun and easy to deal with.  I’m sorry to say that your feet will always be huge, but you will always find cute shoes.  Just dump the trashy bright green sneakers you’ve kept onto forever. 

 

∆∆ Be happy.  You’re going to go through a lot of different things: depression, suicidal thoughts, parental problems, etc.  You will grow strong from these, and though it will be SO hard to get through some of them, you’re going to be able to get through them and look back, wondering and seeing how much good has come from these experiences.  You’re also going to finish things you never though you’d ever do.

 

∆∆ With all of these things, remember that there are people who love you, especially your parents and your siblings.  Though you eventually have to grow up and separate, you will always have them to fall back on when life gets rough. Even when you and your mom argue about asinine things, or get angry at each other for no apparent reason (other than you're both way too alike), you'll need her the most.

 

∆∆ Never give up on yourself, on others, on being loving and kind and compassionate.   These things will continue to leave people as time moves on and selfishness moves into the world more and more.

 

Be charitable.  Be compassion.  Be hopeful.   Be love.

 

Love,

Carissima

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